On Saturday I travelled over to Jutland to visit my Mum, and though the plan had initially been for me to help her with some of the work still to be done in her new garden (levelling soil, shifting a few shrubs that have keeled over in the rather harsh winds around her hill-top house) this was hampered by frozen soil and four inches of snow. Not much point in trying to do anything in the garden… So I ended up setting up her new smartphone, downloading some apps she might like and getting her a cheap data subscription.
However, I did get to check up on my dahlia tubers that I sent on winter holiday chez Mum. They are doing fine, it seems, in her frost-free shed, and I can’t wait to get them home and into the soil, though that will not be for another 3 months. I still find it silly that I’ve actually taken my dahlia tubers across the country to over-winter at my Mum’s, but then I just don’t have a frost-free place to store them in the Summer House – or at least not a place with a constant temperature, as the house itself is heated to 5 degrees Celsius when nobody’s there but 22 degrees when I go there… I think the changes in temperature would confuse the tubers and possibly stress them, so they are better off in my Mum’s shed.
I look forward to getting them back, though, and there are a few other plants that my Mum bought for her garden but then decided against (including a plum tree with the name ‘Anita’, which also happens to be the name of my Mother-in-law) that she will be bringing over to the Flâneur Garden some time in spring. I’ll need to think hard about where I might find room for a tree… Because clearly I’m not turning down a free tree! The other plants are smaller and can more easily slot into the garden wherever there’s room, but a tree that’s already 3 meters tall will need a bit more consideration, especially because it’s not going to be as easy to move as, say, a pot of heuchera or a dahlia tuber…
Anyway, after visiting my Mum for a few days I headed for the island of Funen to visit my Grandmother. She’s 89 and was recently in hospital for 5 days, so it was sort of a “enjoy it while it lasts” visit. Her “new” house where she moved with my grandfather in 1992 or 1993 has a small suburban garden, and it’s slowly becoming less and less intricate. She has hired somebody to keep it for her, of course, but she is accepting gracefully that it’s becoming a “survival of the fittest” garden where some of her specimen plants perish because they are out-competed by their neighbouring plants. It’s still a lovely garden with great variety, though, and of course the stunning view over Storebælt, the Great Belt between the islands of Funen and Zeeland.
She’s a wonderful woman, always was. My Mother-in-law insists that she is gentle and sweet, but while I admit that she is that, too, she is also headstrong and stubborn. She’s a Strong Woman, as farmer wives have to be. But in this context, it’s perhaps most important that she’s a Gardener. My grandfather was in control of the pigs, the fields and the orchards, but she was in control of the house, the garden and the vegetable garden.
Her vegetable garden on the farm was so large that, rather than digging it, my grandfather would use a tractor and a harrow to do the autumn digging. At the back there was a long row of berry bushes; raspberries, red currants, black currants, gooseberries and so on. They would yield hundreds of pounds of berries every year, and provided the resources for gallons and gallons of cordial, jam and freezer bags. Then came row upon row of leeks, cabbages, marrow, carrots, potatoes, beans (peas were grown as a commercial crop, so part of that was frozen for home-use), and of course various herbs. Everything was interspersed with flowers, especially marigolds; they weren’t there to attract pollinators but simply to be used as cut flowers in the house. The scent of marigolds always reminds me of that vegetable garden.
The garden proper was vast. There was a vast expanse of lawn, stretching down from the perennial borders by the house down to the shrubberies before the hedge towards the road. There were huge trees – 2-300 years old – and lots and lots of flowers, but most of all there was a feeling of hiding places. You could always find a corner that nobody could see.
Her “new” garden is much smaller, of course, but it’s still lovely. There’s a flat area around her house and then there’s a steep, densely planted slope down to a more gently sloping lawn with a single flowerbed intersecting it. The lower part of the garden is interesting because of the plants, but from the top part your eye keeps being drawn – literally – out to see.
Both my Mum’s and my grandmother’s garden have sea views, which obviously helps any garden, and both are very much based on “back bones”; shrubs and structural plants that makes everything look ordered and tidy, even if the smaller, more fragile plantings might have been overgrown by more vigorous plants. I guess that’s the key to any elderly-friendly garden plan; to have something that looks neat and tidy as long as you get somebody in to mow the lawn and cut back some bushes every so often.
And, incidentally, that is also the key to a low-maintenance garden for a holiday home, so I really want to emulate their current gardens, rather than the gardens these two women used to have. (Even if the latter remains my secret ideal, it cannot be my ambition.)
On a more personal note, my Grandmother is growing old, which is in some ways sad and in some ways just the way things have to be when you’re pushing 90. I spent less than 24 hours at her place, yet she repeated the same stories perhaps 3-4 times – many of which she has already told me over the phone within the past few weeks. It is what it is. She’s still lovely, and she still has a lot to offer, conversation-wise – even if some of it is repetition. In the evening she went out to the large dresser in her hallway and asked me to open the concealed drawer – SO COOL with a concealed drawer, and many of her large chests of drawers have that sort of thing built into the top console – and we spent two hours going through old papers, drawings, genealogies and various artefacts. My great-great-grandfather’s book of recommendations from various employers, my great-grandmother’s handmade book marks, my grandfather’s service records from the army… I do love family history, and I like knowing where I come from.
And yes, I can trace at least parts of my family back to the 1600′s – though there are very few claims to fame in there. It’s mainly farmers, pottery-makers and the odd dairy-manager… As for exotic touches, there are none. Through the past 13 generations it seems there are just Danes, Danes and more Danes… However, I have personal stories from my great-great-grandparents and onwards, so that makes it exciting. I know where they lived, what they did, what their hobbies were.
And yes, in the Summer House we have a picture wall where both the Flâneur Husband’s and my family are on display. His family is portrayed back to his great-grandparents and I have my great-great-grandmother up there as well – a widowed mother of 7 who managed to put all of her kids through school and who is generally considered to have been quite a character. I have two pictures of her; one of her as a young girl, trying to look serious before the camera, and one of her as a stern-looking old woman with her hair swept back into a tight knot. I never met her, of course, but I knew three of her daughters – who died at the ages of 97, 99 and 103 respectively – and you can’t help but have the greatest respect for a woman who raised three daughters who turned out so different from each other. From the farmer’s wife (my great-grandmother) to the Copenhagen debutante-turned-singing teacher to the first woman to be elected for the Copenhagen city council – and also the first female school principal in Denmark. The latter two lived together as spinsters to the end of their lives, and they bequeathed their rather significant savings to foundations for “young female performing artists” and “single mothers under education” respectively. How cool is that?
Of course, in my book case there are also the memoirs of several of my grandparents and great-grandparents. And I’m currently proof-reading my grandmother’s edition of my great-grandfather’s memoirs. They’re not published, but they are printed for the family to read and keep so the stories will not die out with the older generations. People live and die, but stories have the potential to live forever. Like the story about how my grandmother was taken on family visits by riding in the side-car of my great-grandfather’s motor bike, travelling 200 miles to visit my great-great-grandparents. Or the story of my great-grandfather stealing my great-grandmother’s diamond engagement ring to cut a heart and their initials in one of the window panes in front of the kitchen zinc as an act of apology after having – once again – spent too much of their savings on yet another painting… (That pane was removed when they moved from that house, and my mother currently owns it, though she hasn’t hung it anywhere at present. She must, or I’ll insist she give it to me. It’s the most romantic family heirloom I could imagine.)
Anyway, that was a very long entry with no pictures, so if you’ve read this far in this rambling entry, thank you. Have a picture of my Mum as a reward:



I really enjoyed this post. I love family histories, and even reading about strangers if fascinating and familiar, even though it shouldn’t be. Your mother is beautiful (you probably know that already).
My mother was stunning when photographed by a man whose profession was to shoot glamour shots of movie stars in Hollywood… (She was an au pair in LA in the early 70′s, and this photo was taken by the father of the family she worked for.)
But yes, she was beautiful. And that photo made her “Jodie Foster”-stunning. I love it so much. When people look at our wall of pictures they are always drawn to that particular photo; it just stands out…
(These days she’s less stunning, but then… Who of us still look like when we were 21? I surely don’t!!! )
Your mum is adorable. And I loved hearing the stories. I don’t think we tell enough stories about our heritage anymore, and I’m so glad you have these to remember and to tell. The story of the heart and initial etched into a glass pane is truly the best. I hope you get the pane and frame it.
The pane has already been lead-framed with a thin chain attached; when they moved house my great-grandfather had the pane taken out and framed so it could hang in front of the kitchen window in their new house… And later on it hung in my parents’ house, but currently my mother hasn’t hung it anywhere. She needs to, or I will ask her to give it to me!!!
My family has always been good at telling and re-telling stories. Some where perhaps boring when I was a child, but they have gained meaning as I have grown up. And my favourite is the one when my Grandfather was first invited to the house of my Great-grandparents; they had four daughters, and it seems they all flirted with him so they made him go into the hallway and choose between the hats of the four girls. As the story goes, he picked my Grandmother’s hat, the oldest of the daughters and also the only one older than himself.
As for my my Mum, she looks skinny and worn these days, but I think she will get better from May 1st when she retires. Then she can get the new dog she’s wanted since their old dog had to be put down (it was attacking the nurses who attended to my Dad), which will giver her some sort of company and a reason to get some daily exercise – not to mention the fact that she can spend her days doing what she loves; gardening, walking the new dog, being a Grandmother, visiting friends… She has been working in childcare for 40-something years, resulting in permanent hearing damage and currently a significant stress level, so she deserves an early retirement.
She was, though, a proper 1970′s beauty. Those were the days when you didn’t have to have implants to be gorgeous, and I must confess my Dad pulled way above his league when he met her. It’s only during the past two years she’s started looking a bit haggard, but then who wouldn’t with a husband dying from Cancer. She will look better again when she can spend some time doing stuff for herself, I’m sure. (Though she will probably never look as good as she did when posing for a professional photographer; I really think it’s a brilliant photo, and the real photo is actually a lot more stunning than my photo of the photo.)
I loved this post. I’m really into family history too and spent some time tracing my dad’s family history. Coal miners and farmers for one side and Cornish fishermen and sea captains on the other. It’s fascinating. There’s a small museum in a fishing village in Cornwall with old photos of my relatives. That’s a gorgeous photo of your mum. I love the light and the smile.
I’ve just ordered some dahlia tubers and will plant them up in pots at the start of March in the hope I can get them to flower that little bit earlier. It worked last year despite our dreadful weather. I’m itching to get back out and garden but the ground is too wet to do anything significant but the days are getting longer which always lifts the spirits.
The only member of my family to be featured in a museum is my paternal Grandfather whose picture is in one of the museums about the Danish Resistance during WWII. (Pictured with his resistance friends, all carrying guns and posing in a military fashion.)
I’ll get my dahlia tubers back on April 6th when I see my Mum for my Grandmother’s 90th birthday (her real birthday is April 2nd). This means they can get a month in pots in the apartment windows and be ready to be planted in the garden by early May.
How interesting that you can trace your family back to the 1600′s. To know how your fore bearers lived their lives add such quality to your own life. I would love to see some photos of the gardens of your mother and grandmother…
I don’t have any pictures of my Grandmother’s present garden, but I do have some shots of her old garden at the farm as it looks now when my aunt and uncle have taken over the farm. There are also some pictures of my parents’ old garden, and both can be found on the first of the following links.
On the second of the links you can see my Mum’s new garden as it looked while we were putting it together in November last year.
http://flaneurgardening.com/2011/01/06/gardens-i-grew-up-with/
http://flaneurgardening.com/2012/11/14/who-needs-la-santa-sport/
But yes, I like having that long stretch of time made “human” by putting names and professions to some of the people that came before. It gives a sense of “rootedness” in history and geography, which forms part of my centre.
I so loved hearing the family stories, especially those on your ‘stubborn’ grandmother and her gardens. I never really looked at how beautiful gardens by the sea were until I visited my cousin in St. Lucia. It really changed the way I looked at that ‘extended view’. The photo of your mom is just beautiful, she is a beautiful woman.
An extended view – even if it’s just to the neighbour’s large tree – is always a bonus to a garden, I think. In my own garden I can see the forest that’s 200 meters away, and somehow that backdrop becomes part of my garden, even though it’s probably less glamorous than sea views.
And it IS a great photo. Sun-kissed California beauty, anno 1971…
What a lovely picture of your mother; she’s beautiful. It looks as though you have both good looks and gardening in your family heritage. I don’t know, though, why someone who is blase about traveling more than an hour on public transport with, among other things, a rosebush would feel silly about storing dahlia tubers on the other side of the country
It is indeed a lovely picture, and in reality it has sharper contrasts between the dazzling sunlight and the darker shadows. It’s quite obvious that this is the work of a professional photographer…
And I guess you’re right; storing one’s tubers in a shed 4 hours away is probably perfectly normal. Or at least as normal as growing the original dahlia seedlings in an apartment and then carrying them on bus, metro train and another bus to the garden where they were to live. (My dahlias must be some of the most travelled plants any gardener has ever grown from seed for his own garden.)
They’re very cosmopolitan — as befits the plants of a flaneur
I do look forward to getting them home, though… I think their home-coming will warrant a small celebration!
Looking at our families through their gardens is a wonderful way to see our families. How times change, how we adapt, and of course the stories and the cuttings passed on and on. a lovely post
Some of the plants in my garden must date back four generations or so in my family; that’s my version of heirloom plants! And of course we also have some plants from the Flâneur Husband’s side of the family, dating back three generations. Those plants are like “comfort food” for the eye; a reminder of childhood memories and people we have loved and love still, much like when we cook up a batch of meatballs the same way our grandmothers did.